Self-compassion is compassion but redirected towards yourself (Germer & Neff, 2013). Researcher Kristin Neff is considered to be an expert in self-compassion and has segmented the concept into three main elements (Germer & Neff, 2013).
Kindness can be viewed in as simple a notion as treating yourself the way you would treat a loved one, particularly when facing adversity (Germer & Neff, 2013).
Common humanity is a sense of sharing the imperfect experience of simply being human (Germer & Neff, 2013). We often put high expectations on ourselves, but a natural part of being a human is making mistakes. As uncomfortable as it is, it is also very human to experience suffering, and disappointment.
Mindfulness is a practice that works to increase awareness of the experience of emotion, but it is also about noticing this experience for what it is without judgement and resisting urges to avoid or suppress these emotions (Germer & Neff, 2013).
Practicing self-compassion positively impacts your ability to respond to stressors and can help to cultivate resilience (Slivjak, Kirk, & Arch, 2023). It has been observed that practicing self-compassion can reduce heart rate variability and cortisol levels, improving physical health (Neff, 2023). When we are kinder and more nurturing to ourselves, we enhance our capacity to take care of others (Neff, 2023). Some people view self-compassion as weak and demotivating, but when we can accept that we will make mistakes and offer ourselves understanding, acceptance, and constructive feedback it is easier to find motivation to move through adversity – which is definitely a strength (Neff, 2023).
Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) is a less formal method of self-compassion practice so it can be a great place to start (Neff, 2023). Participants of a 14-day internet-based MSC program reported improvements in self-compassion, self-compassionate responding and self-reassurance (Halamova, Kanovsky, Jakubcova, & Kupeli, 2020). MSC has also been utilised to develop Making Friends with Yourself: A Mindful Self-Compassion Program for Teens, providing evidence and guidance for the use of MSC practice in adolescents and young adults as well (Bluth & Eisenlohr-Moul, 2017).
3 Ways to Practice Self-Compassion at Home
- Start by taking the Self-Compassion Quiz to gauge how self-compassionate you are. You can also re-do it to monitor any changes from your practice.
- Explore self-compassion through writing. This exercise comes directly from Kristen Neff and you can follow the more detailed instructions or be guided by this brief summary:
- Think about aspects of yourself that make you feel insecure or inadequate. Now note down what emotions arise for you when you think about this.
- Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of someone who loves you unconditionally. If this friend was offering you a non-judgmental, warm and kind perspective on your flaws what would that look like?
- Set the letter aside and come back to it at a later time. Allow the compassion within those words to soothe you like a warm bath.
- Take 5 minutes to slow down in a 5-minute guided self-compassion meditation
If these practices resonate you might like to dive into a deeper practice by either purchasing The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook or requesting it from your local library.
References
Bluth, K., & Eisenlohr-Moul, T. A. (2017). Response to a mindful self-compassion intervention in teens: A within-person association of mindfulness, self-compassion, and emotional wellbeing outcomes. Journal of Adolescence, 57, 108-118. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2017.04.001
Germer, C. K., & Neff, K. D. (2013). Self-Compassion in Clinical Practice. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(8), 856-867. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22021
Halamova, J., Kanovsky, M., Jakubcova, K., & Kupeli, N. (2020). Short Online Compassionate Intervention on Mindful Self-Compassion Program. Ceskoslovenska Psychologie, 64(2), 236-250.
Neff, K. D. (2023). Self-Compassion: Theory, Method, Research, and Intervention. Annual Review of Psychology, 74, 193-218. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-032420-031047
Slivjak, E. T., Kirk, A., & Arch, J. J. (2023). The Psychophysiology of Self-Compassion. In A. Finlay-Jones, K. Bluth, & K. Neff, Handbook of Self-Compassion (pp. 291-308). Springer Nature Switzerland AG.
Prev Post